you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Houston, we have a squirter
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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