final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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