turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
