playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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