It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Congratulations! We have a period
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