im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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