so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
