Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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