I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
