The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
