You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
