i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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