More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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