hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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