roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The uberlube is also flammable
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
