david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
