At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
did you just send me my own nude
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
