that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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