Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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