I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
