Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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