Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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