Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
