the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
