Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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