toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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