I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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