You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
