You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
