So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
