best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wish there were birth control emojis
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
