I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
