She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
