He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
