after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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