Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
