The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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