Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
