i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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