OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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