i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
