let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize