once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
