Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
