We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize