That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
