Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
