maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
