my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
