ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
