so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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