Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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